濠叔隨筆

　　某人死後來到天國，在天國門口遇到了聖彼得，同時看見聖彼得後面的一大片牆上掛滿了時鐘。
A man died and went to Heaven.
As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates,he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

他問道：「那些時鐘是作什麼用的？」
He asked, "Whatever are all those clocks for?"
聖彼得回道：
「那些都是記錄扯謊的鐘，每個人一生都跟隨著一個扯謊的鐘，他每扯一次謊，時鐘的指針就動一小格。」
St. Peter answered,
"Those are lie-clocks. Everyone on Earth has a lie-clock.
Every time you tell a lie, the hands on your clock will move a tiny bit."

「喔！」這人回應，並指著一個仍停留在十二點的鐘問：「 那個鐘是誰的呢？」
"Oh," said the man, pointing at a clock still at 12, "whose clock is that?"

「那是泰瑞莎修女的，它的指針從未動過，這表示她一生都 沒扯過謊，是個很坦誠的人。」
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved,indicating that she was totally honest."

「我明白了。」此人說道；「那個鐘又是誰的呢？」
"I see," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

聖彼得回道：
「那是喬治˙華盛 頓的鐘，它的指針動過二次，這表示他這一生只扯過二次謊。」
St. Peter responded,
"That's George Washington's clock. The hands have moved twice,telling us that he told only two lies in his entire life."

「那這個鐘為什麼指到 11 點 59 分，難道此人比泰瑞莎修女還要誠實？」
"Why this clock point at 11:59, was that man more honest than Mother Teresa?"

聖彼得又回答：
「錯了！那是比爾˙柯林頓的。這表示他在總統任內謊言不斷，再加上一次就可以回到 12 點了。」
St. Peter replied again,
"No, that's Bill Clinton's clock ; telling that he told lies many times in his leader period.
One more lie the clock will point at 12."

「那台灣的總統—陳水扁，他的鐘在哪裡呢？」這人問道。
"Where's Chen Shuei-Bian's (President of Taiwan) clock?" asked the man.

聖彼得回應道：「阿扁的鐘在我辦公室，我把它裝在天花板上當風扇用了。」
And St. Peter replied, "Abian's clock is in my office; I'm using it for a ceiling fan!"